My Official Diagnosis

It’s hard to believe that it has only been 9 days since my diagnosis. This journey has already seemed so long but yet it has not even really begun.  There have been quite a few developments since my last entry. After my pathology results meeting with the general surgeon, he ordered an MRI, which I had that day (1/19).  I had to cry on the phone with scheduling to get this appointment. Lol.  They expected my results within 2 days. Friday, January 21^st, I met with the oncologist for the first time. He informed us of my exact stage of cancer.  We now know that I am stage three (T3N3bMx) and that the cancer has spread to my lymph nodes. We also know that the tumor has doubled in size since my ultrasound on November 2^nd. It is about 6cm x 6 cm. The type of cancer that I have and the exact treatment plan was yet to be determined.

I spent the weekend surrounded by loving friends and family.  My comadre, Monica, and my friend from high school, Teresa, came to visit.  I am so glad they did because they lifted my spirits. We laughed, reminisced and worked on organizing my closet. They made me get rid of everything that was out of style. Hey, ponchos may make a come back! My nina seems to think they never went out of style.  My comadre/sister in law, Cindy, helped head up a project that I have been wanting to complete for years, the organization of our garage. It’s amazing how many things a family can accumulate in 6 years!  She and some other friends, Viviane, Tracy, Amy, Gabe and uncle Todd also helped and I am forever grateful to have so many people around me who care.

Monday and Tuesday (1/23 and 1/24) were devoted to CT scan and PET scans.

Wednesday (1/25) I was back in to meet oncologist to go over the results of my blood work, CT scan, PET scan and the second half of the pathology report.  Cindy came with Junior and I to take notes. She is very detailed and took at least 6 pages of notes. She should be a court reporter. Love you, Cindy!  What the oncologist reported was that all blood work came back normal and all scans came back normal. The cancer seems to only be located at the site of the tumor, the lymph nodes and a small spot on the internal mammary node right next to the breastbone.  This is good news and should definitely be celebrated. He also informed us that the type of cancer I have is triple negative. Honestly, Junior and Cindy know more about all the different types of cancers than I do.  I am trying to stop with the research because it upsets me.  But from what I understand, triple negative cancer lacks the estrogen, progesterone and HER 2 protein receptors therefore the drugs that would be used to treat the other types of cancers, cannot be used on me. I will not be able to take anti hormone drugs to treat my cancer.   

The Treatment Plan:

In recent years, research has shown that rates of reoccurrence decrease when chemotherapy is done prior to surgery. The doctor recommended 6 cycles of chemotherapy, one cycle every 3 weeks. Followed by surgery. His suggested drugs are Taxotere, Adriamycin and Cytoxan (TAC).  He said that I could start in the next 1-2 weeks but that he suggested that we get a second opinion. We are in the process of doing so.

My Story

You all know me. So, you know I have been an elementary school teacher for 10 years and I also have 3 very funny (and cute) children.  I have stories. Lots of stories. Have I ever told you the one about the barking child? That's a good one. But, I never thought in a million years that what I am about to tell you would be one of my stories.

On October 15th, I found a lump in my left breast. It seemed really weird but I immediately thought it was related to the fact that I was still breast feeding Mateo. 3 days later, the lump was still there even after several massage, heat and pumping sessions. So, I put in a call to my OB/GYN but could not get an appointment to see her so they suggested that I see my general practitioner. I was in to see my general practitioner on October 22nd. After a breast exam, he immediately assured me that there was no way that a lump of this size (size of a lime) could be breast cancer because it would take decades for a tumor to get that big. Whew. But, given my family history, and my persistance, he ordered an ultrasound. 

On November 2nd,  I was finally able to to be seen and the radiologist did report that the ultrasound showed a solid mass "It is most likely a Fibroadenoma," she said. She ordered a biopsy. 

Getting in for a biopsy was a difficult and long process. After several phone calls made by both myself and Junior, we finally had an appointment right before Thanksgiving. 

During the biopsy, the radiologist numbed the area and made his incision. I watched on the ultrasound machine as he poked the mass several times and within a couple of minutes he informed me that he would not be performing the biopsy because what I had was a "hard ball of old milk." I was so confused.  Since I was still laying on the table half naked and they did not allow Junior in for the procedure, I probably did not ask the right questions. But, I did ask him if he was absolutely sure that it was a hard ball of old milk. He responded, "Can I tell you with 100 percent accuracy that there are no cancer cells somewhere in the outer perimeter of this mass? No." ( I forget what he said after that). He did aspirate some fluid and sent it in for testing.  Again, I left feeling pretty uneasy. I even told the tech that he was a complete DORK!  

While I awaited the results of the aspirated fluid, I consulted a Nurse practitioner at my OB/GYN's office, one that I have developed a close relationship with.  She advised that I push to be referred to a general surgeon, someone who sees this kind of stuff all the time. 

On Novemeber 30th, I was called in for the results of the aspirated fluid ( I am sure you are beginning to see the pattern of super-slow motion health care offered by this medical group). The Dr. said that it was "mostly breast milk." At that point, I asked to be referred to a general surgeon and he agreed that would be a good idea since this really was not his area. 

On January 11th, I went in for my appointment with my general surgeon and the first thing he said was "you have a lump and you have a history of breast cancer, I am removing the lump. I don't even need to see it to know that's what I am going to do." Finally, someone who at least acts like they know what they are doing!!!! After he performed a breast exam, he concluded that he would need to perform a core biopsy. That was done within 5 minutes. He measured the mass and told me that it had already grown 1.5 times since the ultrasound on November 2nd. He was concerned. 

On January 18th, he called to inform me that my results show a malignancy. I really did not hear much after that other than "oncologist, surgeon, cancer" etc.  

The next morning I called the general surgeons office to see if I could come in to discuss my pathology report and take a copy.  I obviously had several questions that I did not think of over the phone.  This is when I learned that I was being diagnosed with Invasive Ductal Carcinoma. Grade 3. 

My Beautiful Bestie

Hello everyone. Felicitas asked me to write the first journal entry, introducing myself. I have been friends with Felicitas for the past 13 years. We actually met in traffic school while we were in college. Since that day, we became fast friends and have made so many wonderful memories. We've danced our way through college parties, France, Spain, and Vegas (multiple times)! Obviously, the pre-mama days! 


Although she and I had been close friends for years, our friendship reached a new level with the birth of our babies! Felicitas and I have been pregnant together all 3 times. She of course has her two beautiful girls Graciela and Maya, and the sweetest baby boy, Mateo, while I have the opposite, two boys and a girl. Becoming mothers together was such a special bond for us and we've had countless late night chats and text sessions about anything and everything to do with our kids. She's the first person I call when I have a mommy question. She's also the first person I call when I really just need to talk to a friend.


When I found out Felicitas had breast cancer, I immediately thought of creating a blog for her so all of her family and friends could be updated on her progress. Obviously it's been an extremely emotional time for her and for all of us who love her. I know we are all anxious to hear how she's doing and what her test results are, so I'm hoping that the blog will be a good source of information for everyone. Felicitas has asked for me to help keep the blog updated since there will be times that she and Junior won't feel like reliving every detail.


Felicitas' dear friend, Lisa Shimomura has set up a Care Calendar for people to donate meals through Dream Dinners and Dinner Studio. In the future there will also be ways to help Felicitas by running errands, giving her rides to appointments, keeping her company, etc. I have provided a link to the care calendar under "Important Links" at the top, right hand side of this page. Please check the care calendar regularly, as needs will change as time progresses. 


Although they have great insurance, it unfortunately will not cover all of the medical costs. If you would like to make a donation to help the Rayray's cover their expenses, it would be greatly appreciated. Checks can be made out to Felicitas Rayray. 


Please send them to: 
Felicitas Rayray
7280 Tait St. 
San Diego, CA 92111


Junior's cousins will be doing a prayer circle every night at 8pm. If you all could take a few minutes to say a prayer for Felicitas during this time, she would be so grateful. This is going to be a difficult year for them and I know they appreciate all your love and support more than you know.


We love you Felicitas! You are going to beat this!!!
Samira Mallinger